The Nativity

Courtesy of Blue River Baptist Church - No Affiliation with them

Since "V" was born on the 22nd of Nov. I have spent a lot of time skypeing with Angelica and trying to build a connection with my son. I can say that prior to my leaving, and from the time I found out that Angelica was pregnant and that I was gonna miss the first month of so of my child's life I was always worried about that connection. I worried for a good part of the pregnancy and I am pretty sure that it wasn't until about the month of August that I finally found some reassurance that my being gone, wouldn't have a negative effect on the way that I bonded with my son. For much of the time prior to receiving that reassurance I really worried about how I was going to bond with my son, and spent most free time, and free thoughts contemplating that, and occasionally found myself praying fervently that I would be able to form that bond with him and that my time here wouldn't negatively effect my relationship with him. 

This concern can come from never really all that connected to children my entire life. I have never cared for holding them, and have always found it awkward to interact with them, since I don't know what to do with them, and end up usually just making faces at them or treating them like a big person and talking normal to them. Due to that lack of being in love with little babies prior to his birth I was legitimately concerned that I would end up being uninterested in him, or worse that I would find him Ugly, and just not want anything to do with him, screwing up his life forever and giving him all sorts of psychological issues. Needless to say, none of that has happened, and I have fallen absolutely in love with "V" and am so excited to get back home to him and finally hold him in my arms and experience that first sensation of holding him and seeing him in person, and looking into his eyes, and hopefully having him recognize me somehow as his daddy.

With that, the other day while I was at church I had this crazy idea come to my mind, which directly relates to Christmas and the whole birth story. Normally in my family, and that is normally within the last 5-7 years, we tell the story of the Nativity while we act it out. This all started at some point during my mission, when my family decided that it would be fun to do with all of the grandkids and since then it has become tradition. Anyways...at church the other day I started thinking about how when I get home Baby "V" will probably be the sit in for baby Jesus, my niece Elizabeth will be Mary and she will ride around on my Dad, who will play the donkey. Anyways, I figured that would leave me as Joseph, being "V's" father and all, but I decided it would be more fitting if I were a wise man this year, and this is why: 1) I will have heard of the news of his birth by a miraculous sign, in this case I skyped the whole thing. 2) I will begin to travel to the west from the east following hearing and learning of this good news, just like the wise men did. 3) I will be bringing with me gifts for the child. Now I just need to figure out the best gifts for him since gold is a little out of my price range. 4) I will arrive after he has grown some and it will not be right when he is born, rather he will be a month old. With those reasons, I felt that it would be more appropriate to be a wise man during the re-enactment, since I will have been living in their shoes for the last 4 months, and for the whole journey home.

Having this situation has allowed new insights into the story of the nativity, which never had occurred to me mostly, since we always think of the short narration, and then that's about it. However, I can only imagine what things were going through the thoughts of the "Wise Men" from the east as they were preparing for the birth of Christ, as well as on their journey to find the Christ child.

I am really looking forward to getting home and seeing my new little baby, and celebrating Christmas. I pretty much have a running calendar that has been going for the last 2 weeks. The anticipation is killing me, just like I'm sure it was for the Wise Men as they were traveling, as well as waiting for the sign of the Messiah's birth.